Salvation is Near

I sat in the back of the car Friday night as we made our way up towards Durango for a Christian retreat. The song Jesus Paid It All came over the headphones of my iPod whose original purpose was to drown out the 3 hour listening fest of disney music. Cohesively, the next song played...The Revelation Song and as snow fell everywhere around us I was overcome. Tears started streaming down my face as I looked out on the dark night lined with the silhouettes of snow covered pine trees. Many thoughts were running through my mind, but most importantly the control and power of Jesus Christ. 

Each time I make that drive I think about death. I know it sounds morbid, but the passes we drive through are many times snowy and icy with quite a few twists and turns. While it is a beautiful drive, I consider it to be rather dangerous. For a very specific reason, I am never afraid of dying. On Friday when I was considering the thought once again, my mind drifted to the return of Jesus. I kept thinking, "If I don't die tonight, I just really hope Christ returns soon." This thought in and of itself is a fine thought. I think it's good to be excited for the return of Jesus, but I don't always have that mentality. I don't always want Christ to come because I have not done or experienced all the things that I have wished to on this earth yet. I have not accomplished all that I desire or am expected to. I want more time because I am not ready yet. 

I then became very angry with myself because I realized that the only reason I wish for Heaven is due to the current hardships I am facing in my life. I became aware of how completely and sickeningly selfish I am. I should want the return of Christ every single day of my life through hardships AND times of blessings. This forced me to start thinking about how much more I need to center my life around the One who made rather than the one who was made. It also caused me to be so thankful that I don't have to stress or wonder about my timing or His...making me all the more anxious for His return. 

There were many things that were said over the retreat that made me realize why He hasn't come yet. We still have so much to accomplish as His children, but I think and hope His return is possible soon. We just need to carry out what we were placed on this earth to do. I AM SO EXCITED! I am encouraged in my generation and believe a change is coming...