I am Weak.

Today I wish I had been good enough for you or what you wanted. 

I'm sorry I wasn't.

I hope to find someone with many of the same characteristics as you someday. 

I'm not trying to rely on you...I'm just putting it out there. 

Just getting it out of my head and my heart.

I miss you today, but I'll be ok.

I'll be ok. 

I'll be ok.

I'll be ok.

LEADING BY EXAMPLE

Leadership.

I guess it can mean many different things to people.

Personally, this is how I would define leadership.

A leader is someone who can persuade, but not manipulate others to take a viewpoint similar to their own proving their beliefs to be valid through example and encouragement. A leader is someone who creates community between those who possibly have never been introduced to such a concept. A leader has an opinion and follows it. A leader attempts to understand the thoughts and actions of others. A leader is willing to sacrifice their time for the needs of the people they are leading. A leader decreases chaotic situations. A leader provides help and advice. A leader has a sense of selflessness and cares for the general well-being of others.

Leadership is carrying out the characteristics of a leader and doing so through EXAMPLE.

It is important for someone in a position such as this to make sure they are living their personal life in a way that honors their own beliefs. This means carefulness and awareness of personal actions being taken, living a life of encouragement rather than condemnation, and genuinely caring for the people around them.

Yes, it is about the way in which YOUR daily life plays out, but if you don't treat individuals with CARE...don't expect for others who look up to you to live a life devoted to serving and loving the people of this world. IS it really worth the frustration of attempting to live a perfect life when such a huge aspect of leadership is MISSING.  

I've formed my opinion.

You decide.

4,3,2,1

My love is longing for belonging.
My love is trying as it is dying.
My love is planning on expanding.
My love is taunting the wanting.

My heart is yearning, but it is learning.
My heart is hoping, but it is coping.
My heart is knowing, but it is growing.

My love is requiring restoration...wishing for less frustration.
My love is slowly rediscovering...wishing for easier recovering. 

My heart is hurting, but it is healing...hoping for less feeling.

Definition

"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." 

Ephesians 2:10

YOU DON'T define me.

Just Maybe

I had a good friend tell me the other day that maybe the purpose of you being in my life was just for a break from hardships. Just for a time. Just for relief. Just for support. Just what I needed then. 

Thank you.

I Don't Rhyme

I'm done with the games, so sick of these lies. I don't know why I stood up for you so many times. My heart is suffering the consequences of letting you destroy it's deepest defenses. I'm angry with you. I'm hurt. I'm scared. For the person I knew is no longer there. What happened to the days of "as long as you'll let me?" They feel like empty words said in narcissitic mockery. To hurt someone was never your intention, but now that feels like the only explanation. The secrets are scary, the truth never told. It appears you enjoyed having my mind to mold. The steps you have taken to rid me of your life, I had never expected when you said the word wife. I look to you no longer as a refuge or friend. The trust you had built has come to an end. It's hard to find joy in the times that we shared because of how little you have proven you care. I'm delighted dear one, you feel you are doing God's will, but be careful of the arrogance with which your heart has been filled. That was a trait far from you at our relationship's start. You are hurting others and leaving them in the dark. I'm done with you and the pain you have caused me no matter how much my heart disagrees.

And yet,

I am healing. 

I forgive you though you may not even want my forgiveness. I love you from sodbuster and back. I grieve for you in the fact of your hard upbringing. I envy you for your talent and grace. I wish for you the most blessed and happy future. I release you from my dreams and desires. I hope to one day look back and smile thinking of you fondly. 

I miss you dear friend.

God is my comfort. In Him alone I find peace.

Coping With Disappointment

Disappointment is not punishment. Disappointment does not deter hope. Disappointment is not failure. Disappointment does not cast fear. Disappointment is not everlasting.

Disappointment is trial.

"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love."

Romans 5:3-5

The False

Giving up tears.
Giving up hope.
Giving up everything.

Giving up friends.
Giving up art.
Giving up loss.
Giving up spanish.
Giving up everything.

Giving it up.