I'm done with the games, so sick of these lies. I don't know why I stood up for you so many times. My heart is suffering the consequences of letting you destroy it's deepest defenses. I'm angry with you. I'm hurt. I'm scared. For the person I knew is no longer there. What happened to the days of "as long as you'll let me?" They feel like empty words said in narcissitic mockery. To hurt someone was never your intention, but now that feels like the only explanation. The secrets are scary, the truth never told. It appears you enjoyed having my mind to mold. The steps you have taken to rid me of your life, I had never expected when you said the word wife. I look to you no longer as a refuge or friend. The trust you had built has come to an end. It's hard to find joy in the times that we shared because of how little you have proven you care. I'm delighted dear one, you feel you are doing God's will, but be careful of the arrogance with which your heart has been filled. That was a trait far from you at our relationship's start. You are hurting others and leaving them in the dark. I'm done with you and the pain you have caused me no matter how much my heart disagrees.
And yet,
I am healing.
I forgive you though you may not even want my forgiveness. I love you from sodbuster and back. I grieve for you in the fact of your hard upbringing. I envy you for your talent and grace. I wish for you the most blessed and happy future. I release you from my dreams and desires. I hope to one day look back and smile thinking of you fondly.
I miss you dear friend.
God is my comfort. In Him alone I find peace.
